03-14-08

Woah..

Its been weeks since I blogged my way out of boredom..

Maybe I'm just not that bored these days.. That's because of the overflowing duties assigned to me.. Including the periodical exam, projects, class meetings (which stresses me a lot that I nearly died..)
And another one is the "sci-cal issue"

You know.. I'm not supposed to blog it for the world to see..
But I just have to get this off my chest.

First of all, I'm very sorry.. Really, I am..
For not being a great and trustworthy friend.
I know I've been a wasted friend.. I know I threw your trust away.. I know I can't bring that back again.. I know I should have said things first before making that move.
But I know that risk will help you..
It will help you to gain trust from others.. Others that you have yet to meet.
Maybe I just did the harsh approach on putting things up.. Maybe because I'm afraid you'll just scare me away. Maybe you'll just sham your counterattacks to my face..

Yeah.. I thought of that.. That's why I'm afraid to approach you. That's why I avoided it.. That's why I spent my precious nights just thinking about that damn thing..

And I know, no matter what decision I make.. It can affect many lives.

Second.. I'm so scared.. Really, I am...
For being a coward to approach you.. for not discussing these matters with you..
I know that to you will change a lot.. but not everything..
I just took the easy but devastating way out.. I just want the quickest solution..
And I just thought, what about our friendship..? The laughter? The pain? the treats..? The chicken fillet and the large fries..?!

I risked it all.. I know..

And I know, no matter what decision I make.. It can affect many lives.

Third.. I'm stark raving mad.. Really, I am..
For being called a bad friend.. For being hated for doing what I know is right.
For seeing things in a bigger picture and be out of your rather "exclusive" world.
Who did the error in the first place..? Who did the most unfair thing in the world?
who made that cunning move that stepped on the snapped brains of the ones who don't sleep just to study hard?
I know, its pressure.. I mean.. So much pressure because of our low capabilities.
But that sort of thing.. Is not what friends look up for.. Its not what friends do together.. Its not the standing of a true friendship..

I've seen you do those things.. I've seen you do them since the day I met you in a personal level. And I want to change that..

But then.. I know our efforts will be gone to waste..
So don't shove it to my face.. that I'm not a good friend.. That I don't trust you enough.. that I don't love you enough..

Wow.. Because if the friends you talk about do what you're doing.. Hell.. Go to the drug den or in prison and find yourself a friend.

I'm so pissed off.. yeah..

now.. this BREAD addiction of mine is getting worse.. But I think its better than shifting to metal rock..=)

OK.. Should I talk more about my "mis-adventures" this week..? this month..? hahahahha!

Never mind.. its summer.. what happens in school, SHOULD DEFINITELY STAY IN SCHOOL.
Teachers! please!!!

OK now.. I think your eyes are swelling because my article is too long..
So lets cut it.. and cut it reeeeaaaaallllll hard..=)

NOW PLAYING
I don't wanna be - Gavin DeGraw
Realize - Colbie Caillat
Forget about me - Little Bit
Drops of Jupiter - Train
Make it with you - Bread
Aubrey - Bread
If - Bread
Everything I own - Bread
Diary - Bread
Baby, I'mma want you - Bread (melts me away..)
Waiting in vain - Bob Marley
Sweat - Inner Circle