Friday, December 1, 2006

Raining inside and out..

Hi guys..! If you want to know the date today, its October 2, 2006.. A very disappointing Monday for almost all students who have classes for this day because they don't want to have classes.. Typhoon (is the spelling correct?) Milenyo just took 2 weekdays from the school days.. But at the same time, blew the roofs, trees, mga uncollected sinampay, electricity, for some, the water supply... Hell, its like heaven for me, you know, as someone who's grounded for the rest of her damned life.. I won't be jealous of people who aren't grounded for the rest of their damned life..
Haaayy.. Its raining very hard outside.. And yet, I want to roam around, go to someone else's place.. Hehehe.. That's only because my mom got me a new umbrella.. (Akala nyo malalim 'no?! Hahaha.. CORNY!) Most of us had fun today.. Because we only had 4 classes for the day.. with 2 of them full of activities.. Hehehe.. I wish the classes will be suspended for tomorrow.. I want to cuddle my two babies.. You know, with this grounded thingy.. I learned to cherish the times with my siblings.. especially my 2 babies.. Most of the time, I'd rather be with them than with my classmates.. Its not that I'm afraid of my parents.. But I feel very comfortable with them.. more comfortable than my friends will ever make me feel.. Its not that I don't appreciate my friendships..=) But I think the type of belongingness I feel for my siblings is incomparable.. Hehehe.. (Of course..! I don't coo my friends and classmates, you know?!)
Anyway.. I'm gonna end it here.. (Hindi ka sanay 'no?! Ang iksi eh..) I gotta do some cooing with mga kakosa..=)

Bibled and studied.. (what the hell is this title talking about..?!)

Hi guys, If you want to know, today is October 4, 2006..I don't know, but the last 4 hours of my life isn't very "crappy"... (FINALLY!) I attended a bible study conducted by faithful students.. This day is a really unforgettable experience for me.. It all started when we prayed the rosary at noon.. I gave it all on that prayer.. But the thought of something gets in my way.. (Its a secret..)Then, I kept my promise to Michelle that I will accompany her to her bible study today.. At first, I want to postpone it again.. But on second thought, why not? We had few homeworks (that's why I had the time to blog).. And I think I won't cross my 6pm curfew...The topic is all about acceptance of salvation that God offers us.. What I remembered, its from the book of Matthew Chapter 22.. Something like that.. But since I'm new on the group, I tend to listen first to what will they say... They said their 100% sure they will go to heaven.. Honestly, I had doubts about that.. But then, God offers me a chance to live in peace with him.. why refuse, right..? (Hey! I haven't typed this fast in my whole life..!)On closing, our SSG president, Paul, led a prayer.. When he "prayed", I don't really appreciate what he says.. Because there is a saying, before you teach someone, you have to become one.. And I remembered an incident where I saw the apparently "yin" side of Paul..
I was going home back then when I heard someone say something.. then Paul reacted.. I don't remember exactly what he said, but the look on the face of that someone, it tattooed on my mind.. A look of self-degrade.. its like I can feel his/her (I think she a girl) heart break.. Hey, don't get me wrong.. Its not like Paul busted her..! Anyway.. For me, Paul delivered the prayer very well.. But I can't seem to forget that incident.. That makes me want to say.. "This is not a speech and drama class..OK?"
Anyway, when I got home, I felt very relieved.. To know that I will have the opportunity to share my problem.. OK, if you want to know, here's my problem..
=========> I'm a midcard perfectionist.. (Wait.. commercial.. I just passed by my yayas and they're shouting like hell because Kit=Camille Prats just saw the love of her life, Teng=Richard Gutierrez transform to Captain Barbell..! OK... back to the topic..) Hmmm.. I think I'm gonna cut this topic short.. Because, I plan to share my dilemma next Wednesday... So.. If you want to know, better attend the bible study.. (Its life-changing..! Promise!)
Goodbye and God Bless

One of a thousands...

Hello guys.. I'm here again.. blabbing about everything I want to blab about..
Well, today's topic is all about.. sticking to your status.=)As you can see, its very much connected with the "expectations" thing..
That was Sunday.. after we attended mass, I showed her a note that was given by our adviser..'' Hay.. card day na naman.. O, Pang-ilan ka..?'' my mom asked me..Then, I went blank.. I just replied very frankly..'' Hindi na yata ako kasama..''
That was one of the most degradiing experience I had.. My mom, the most credible source of info about me, hoped that I will stay on top.. Honestly.. I'm losing all hope.. My 1 mg of pride is all I've got..
Its pretty disappointing, you know, that I keep on wasting their efforts on keeping me on top.. That here, in this damn blog, I keep on typing everything I hate about life but then I do nothing to change it for the better.. Now, here's another one of my stupid ideas..wanna know a trivia?
HONESTLY, I'VE WRITTEN ALMOST 8 ARTICLES/JOURNALS THAT INCLUDES THE TOPIC "I NEED TO CHANGE" BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO DISAPPOINT MY PARENTS BUT THEN.. STILL.. NOTHING'S CHANGE..!!!
That's the truth about life.. easy to say.. hard to do.. That is why.. to those crappy people who say they'll read my blog but really don't.. In hell, we will meet..=)Just kidding.. Anyway, guys, I'm sorry if my articles aren't really on time.. I have to go to internet shops to post this so its not really up to date.. Just enjoy the contents..=)If you don't mind... (I'm sure you wouldn't mind because you don't care..) The next posts will be very inaccurate..=)

Ano topic nito..?!

Hi... Musta nman kayo dyan..?!Minsan-minsan lang ako magbo-blog ng tagalog kaya basahin nyo ito!
Anyway... Pasensya na kayo sa blog ko dahil walang kabuhay-buhay... Hindi kasi ako masyadong marunong magformat eh.. Kaya naman dinadaan ko na lang sa content itong blog ko.. Please lang.. tangkilikin nyo naman blog ko... basahin nyo at huwag mag-atubiling mag-comment..=)
These past few weeks are very inspiring for me.. (yan na naman.. akala ko ba tagalog..?!) Paano ba naman.. BUMISITA SI BATISTA DITO SA PINAS..!! Grabe talaga.. He's my supreme ultimate idol sa WWE.. kasama pa sina Kurt Angle, Eddie Guerrero at Triple H... Good thing na dun siya nag-appear sa GMA kasi ayoko talaga sa ABS-CBN.. Hehehe.. No offense sa mga kapamilya pero for me, napakacheap ng kapamilya... Never in my educated years na malalaman kong pasok sa Myx Hit Chart ang music video ni Gerald Anderson(?) na hindi naman siya kumanta.. Hell! mas magaling naman si Mark Herras na sumayaw dun 'no?!
Tapos eto pa.. Nandidiri ako sa ABS-CBN kasi grabe ang mga loveteam.. Talagang pinoy na pinoy.. wala man lang critical touch.. Tingnan nyo nga yung mga koreanovela or telenovelas ng ibang bansa, walang ka-cheapan! Kapag magka-loveteam na kasi dito sa Pilipinas kahit isang show lang.. next week, may balitang binuntis na nung guy yung girl.. See..?!
Yan ding mga kanta.. lalo nung mga Champions (champions nga ba?).. napaka-cheap..! Grabe.. buti pa yung mga kanta ni Christian Bautista, tinatangkilik pa sa ibang bansa..! Eh yung kina Sarah Geronimo? Rachelle Ann Go? Grabe tinatangkilik ng mga OFW sa ibang bansa! Is that what you call ''INTERNATIONALLY KNOWN"?
Alam nyo kasi.. nakatatak na sa kokote ng ABS-CBN staff na middle class people ang nanonood sa mga extremely biodegradable shows nila.. kaya hindi na nila nilalapatan ng world-class taste.. Puro na lang sila pa-cute.. pakilig-kilig.. meron pa silang nalalamang Pinoy Big Brother.. Pati tuloy ng ka-cheapan sa buhay sa loob ng bahay, pinapakita sa buong bansa.. Kaya tignan nyo, anong natututunan ng mga manonood? Kung paano bumoto ng favorite nilang housemate?! Hell..!!!
Sorry, kapamilya.. Lalo na kay Jellah kung babasahin niya ito.. Hindi ko lang talaga type.. pero don't get me wrong ha.. We all have our own opinions.. Mine is just really an explosive and offensive one..
Anyway.. ang layo na nito sa unang topic ko na Batista.. hehehe.. paiiksiin ko na lang.. Sana magpunta siya ulit dito sa Pinas.. At mas matagal pa siya.. Mahal ko talaga yung halimaw na yun eh!!
Sige.. Gotta go na.. BYE!!!

A very crappy day...

Hi.. Guys.. here's another one of my masterpieces..
Anyway.. I just can't tear myself away from this thought.. I got an extremely low grade in a quiz in Algebra.. Actually, its not only in one quiz.. All of my quizzes in Algebra this 2nd quarter are extremely low.. I think I only got 25% of the items correct... Hell, here I go again.. I'm flunking..I never learn, I admit.. I'm hanging by a thread in the top 10 last quarter.. I really need to hold on..You know, I really got lucky last quarter 'coz its only a recap of last year's lessons.. This time.. I'm really flushing down the toilet.. again.I'm trying to pull it up.. by reciting and participating in class discussions.. but unlucky for me, my hand just won't raise.. I'm too afraid to be humiliated.. maybe I think they expect too much from me.. that's what I think.. but everytime I think of it, I disagree because.. it seems no one really cares about me.. No one wants to listen to what I want to say..
Honestly, its very disappointing.. Most of the "pauso" in the classroom came from me.. but I'm too shy to say it out loud, that if I whispered it to somebody, they will deliver it.. and the crowd digs it.. It feels like I'm not made to deliver what I want to say or do.. It feels like when I say my ideas, its not very convincing or effective... but if somebody says my ideas.. it turns heads.. You know what I'm saying..?
Here I go again, my self-esteem just keeps going down..down..down..
I'm trying to boost up my self-confidence.. I'm trying to make people care about me.. I'm trying to get their attention.. I'm trying to get their concern when I cry.. their support when I'm down.. their time when I'm alone.. their consideration when I'm wrong.. their acceptance when I ask permission..
And yet.. the world doesn't mind me.. As if I'm a wall.. just their to stand tall.. shelter them but still not faced.. still un-entertained.. still unacceptable..
Hell, I'm getting more and more serious by the minute.. This is just great.. I keep on typing about everything I hate and sad about.. Don't you think this blog needs a more positive outlook?
Hehehe.. This morning, Ms. Tanada conducted her demonstration in our class.. We have this activity where we will prepare a meal and state instructions how to prepare them (our lesson is about imperatives).. Our group was assigned to prepare coke float.. (You know, this softdrink with vanilla ice cream on top).. I really enjoyed our presentation.. Its short and very simple but the coke float was worth the tiring 1-kilometer run from the classroom to the front gate and back..!!
Now, the rest of the groups prepared a "well-cooked" pancit canton in a pouch, an effective eye-bag remover vegetable salad (cucumbers, corn, lettuce, tomatoes and mayonnaise..), a tourist-magnet balut.. and a new pausong "your looks!", the revision of the all-original "itsura mo!" by the one and only Buenachuchu..!!
Its the birthday of our classmates, Patricia and Arianne, 2 beauties who sucked the heart of our math wizard, Cedric.. so we had 2 parties for the day.. countless happy birthday songs and a once-in-a-lifetime experience in our class full of fun, excitement and a family-like bonding..
Its really nice to have two families that worth the life I'm spending with them.. Thanks, God, for giving me this wonderful, beautiful, exciting... head-turning, tongue-twisting, blood-sucking, eye-popping, nerve-cracking, hell-raising and extremely mind-boggling life... (wow! I know this is a very unusual sentence but this is definitely NOT AN UNDERSTATEMENT..!)
Well, thanks for reading this horrible article for the 14th day of September, 2006 years after the death of Christ.. I hope you had fun reading and will wait for my next one..=)

Trusted by no one...

Now.. I have this really disturbing feeling that's tearing me apart..Have you ever felt like no one seems to trust you with anything..?That's what I feel right now.. Isn't it obvious..?
I was trusted back then, when I was in elementary.. I'll have anything I need.. and want.. Because my parents know, I still don't have the guts to do something genocidal.. Until when I had this illegal relationship thing.. They noticed I wasn't that innocent.. Hey..! If you're thinking something very inhuman, lose it..! They witnessed my transformation from a sweet and lovable daughter to a hopeless social addict.. An event that parents are afraid to see..
So when I graduated from elementary.. they "slowly" confiscated the key to a worldly attitude that I treasure.. my cellphone.. I tried to prove something to deserve it back.. but I guess I lost.. I guess I didn't prove anything to them.. I guess I'm just trying to buy them out with grades.. I thought maybe they're still not satisfied with what I can give..
Now here's another twist.. I was given this expensive silver watch for a Christmas gift.. I wore it every single damn day.. I loved it so much.. But its so new, I sometimes forgot I have one.. You know that..? That you're not used to having this thing that you sometimes forget about it.. That's what happened to the watch.. I totally misplaced it.. Bye-bye, watch..
Now, I'm trying to convince them to buy me a new one.. I guess I'm doing what I did when I was begging for the cellphone.. I know its really sad to know someone that you care about doesn't care about what you offer them.. Get it..? They said that's what they felt when I said I lost the watch..
Then, I let it out to my erpats.. I said to him.. Do I have to finish college and work to have my own watch and cellphone..? The thing is.. how can I prove I'm worthy of having these things if they can't give me one.. I really know they can afford them both.. Even if this is gonna make me mentally retarded.. I'm really willing to sacrifice going to SMACKDOWN SURVIVOR SERIES TOUR in Araneta for a new watch and a cellphone.. I know this is a once-in-a-short-lifetime event but to know that you have the things you need, and that you're entrusted by your parents these important things can really increase my self esteem.. When I see fellow students that were entrusted by their parents with valuable possessions go malling after school and gimmick everywhere.. And then they invite me to join.. and I decline.. I said to myself.. That's damn unfair..!
Why do they have to have what I don't have when I sacrifice my happiness just to try to prove I'm worthy of my parents' trust..?!
Mama, I know you'll read this article.. So I just just want to say to you..HI MAMA..!! SINISIRA PO NINA MIGUEL YUNG PC.. KUMAKAIN PO SILA HABANG NAGLALARO..!!hehehe.. See you guys next time.. my keyboard smells like cookies..

Lalagutin mo ng punlo!

Hey guys.. I'm back.. Ang bilis no..?! Ewan ko ba kung bakit inaaraw-araw ko ang pagta-type ko ng blog.. Hehehe.. Just to hope you'll always visit this site..
Anyway.. Today is 08-25-06.. and we had our last official practice of the Sabayang Bigkas thing on the grounds.. We look like.. Umm.. Beggars.. Hehehe=)To be honest, I'm really proud of myself today.. (yeah.. my self-esteem slowly rose.. read the previous blogs) That.. I'm glad I stayed at Section A.. Our Filipino teacher was impressed when we presented it.. I'm so lucky to be one of the weird but cute monkeys who seem to get rid of the fear of being overthrown by the gorillas..=) Please.. I'm just trying to make an indirect point..
Well, I really have to go.. I'm so starving na..=) Don't get me wrong.. I promise I'll take only 1 cup of rice..=)SEE YOU..!!!

I expect you to read this..

Hi.. This is me again.. And I would like you to know that this month of August is as miserable as hell for me. I don't blame this to my brother because its his birthday on August 27..
The first 3 weeks of this hell-like month was filled with madness.. And I will make it clear.. Its not good..
Projects are overflowing.. There's research here, flowcharting there.. We were also FORCEFULLY FORCED to make a storybook, an artfolio, a room cleanliness project.. And this is the most challenging part.. A damn speech choir.. Because this is a class project, we, the CREAM OF THE DAMN CROP, must be really good at it.. Like Nationwide level.. Duh.. We're not that perfect! I don't blame our teacher.. He just can't lower his standards.. BECAUSE WE'RE THE CREAM OF THE CROP.. The other sections are trying their best to get rid of us.. BECAUSE WE'RE THE CREAM OF THE CROP.. Hmmm.. Everyone expects everything from us.. Now.. Our teacher worsen the situation when he told the other sections that we can surely beat them.. Do you know why he did that..?BECAUSE.. WE'RE THE CREAM OF THE CROP..!!!!!!!!!!!
We're in section A and we should be proud of it.. I know.. But still, other sections kept degrading us.. If they know we will be competing against them.. They will do everything.. I mean EVERYTHING to win.. I know it isn't a bad thing.. As you can see, we INSPIRE them to do such things.. But for us.. Its really unfair.. We were used as the INSPIRATION.. But if we're treated like that.. expectations are boosting up to the heavens..
OUR OPINIONS: WE ARE JUST LIKE YOU, GUYS.. WE'RE JUST PLAIN EVOLVED MONKEYS IN THIS DAMN WORLD.. CAN WE HAVE A BREAK FROM ALL THESE EXPECTATIONS..?!All the blame's on us.. If we don't get to your standards.. we flunk..!
You know, I have this experience in my elementary days.. When I was in Grade 4 and 5, I'm not in the first section.. Guess what? I got in the Top 5 even when last school years, I was cycling the 7-10 places.. That was because.. During that time.. I enjoy my schooling.. I do what I'm tasked to do.. I play computer for 5 hours everyday.. I clean the room, do my assignments.. Just plain enjoying myself to death by studying.. I don't worry about other sections.. I don't worry about that damn "reputation".. Well, I'm happy about that.. No huge drops of expectations pouring down on me..! That's why I relax.. I soothe myself with learning.. not competition..
Now, those people who can't understand a single damn word I'm saying.. YOU'RE COMPLETELY PATHETIC.. You're wasting your worthless time on this blog.. Hey..! I sacrificed gallons of Adenosine Triphosphate to write this article.. So do your best to understand and relate to us..I EXPECT you to understand this one above all else.. Hehehe..=)

All about something...

I admit.. I have a very low esteem.. It seems like I really hate myself.. that if I had the chance, I will choke myself to death.. saying: "What is God thinking when he made you..?!"
Hmmm.. Some devil, huh? I love the people around me.. especially my family.. even if they're countless.. Believe me, I have 4 siblings.. 2 wrestler brothers, an sweet sister and a heavy baby boy..
But for me.. Life isn't complete.. Honestly, before I met him.. Life for me WAS complete.. I had everything.. I'm a happy and satisfied person.. I didn't try to impress anyone.. I focused on my studies.. Love my family very much.. I mean very very much.. Read hundreds of novels, wrote countless poems and songs.. I have many friends..
Now.. My close friends said I've changed.. I know.. because of him..He means a lot to me.. one word from his lips can change my life.. But he doesn't even know that's how important he was for me.. That he holds my heart.. That he captures my soul.. That he grabs my attention..
Another worse thing, he loves somebody else.. And that someone is almost perfect.. Beautiful, talented, intelligent.. she's all he wanted for a girl..Yeah.. that's when my self esteem came flushing down the toilet.. hehehe.. I saw myself in the mirror as a stupid, dark, curly, no-talent geek with a MAJOR NO-NO title for the opposite sex.. Know what I mean..?
Now, there's another guy I like.. Now, I keep this as a secret because I'm not really serious about it.. But then, a friend of mine started the issue..... He moved away from me.. I want him only to be a close friend.. Because when I first talked to him, I know I can relate to him.. He's all I can relate to, he's just the ideal friend I can find.. But then.. this "LOVE" thing.. which is not even there, ruined it.. again.. Now, he doesn't even talk to me..! When I start a conversation, it will end after a minute.. Its like I'm chasing him now.. Well, I don't plan to clear this thing up yet.. But I'll let those crazy monkeys who started this damn issue see what I really want to happen..
You might have noticed right now, That this piece of crap is all about guys.. Well, here's another guy who taught me a very important lesson..Matthew Manuel.. (Yup, I can now say his name confidently..) was my so-called illegal boyfriend back when I was Grade 6.. I was happy back then.. Back when I was on top of my league.. When I transferred to CMSHS, he "invaded" someone else.. Damn, this song.. For you I will by Terry Geiger.. Its just perfect for this emotional thing.. I would agree to stop this topic right now.. I don't feel to talk about it..
Ok now.. this is the end.. but not yet.. I still have many tornados that hurl around in my head.. I still have to study.. Bye-bye..!

Addicted to my PC

Hi..! I'm back..! Kagagaling lang namin ng family ko sa house ng lola ko.. Bagong panganak kasi si ermats and she needs our house clean kaya dun muna kami nagstay habang nililinis pa yung bahay..
Well, the best thing eh, high-tech yung computer ng tito ko.. I crave for computer games for 2 weeks.. Merong Dungeon Siege 2.. Yung character ko nga eh, level 13 na kaagad unlike sa character ng tito ko na level 7 pa lang.. Hehe.. Meron ding GTA San Andreas.. Hindi ko masyadong na-enjoy yung GTA kasi hindi ko alam yung mga cheats.. Unlike SIMS 2, na-enjoy ko kahit walang cheats..
Grabe, kung nakita nyo lang yung family ko sa SIMS 2.. Nakatira sila sa Strangetown.. Tapos bungalow na nga lang yung bahay nila, wala pang flooring..! Tapos wala pang lababo yung CR nila.. Walang plants except yung Simoleon Plant na todo alaga kasi dun lang tumutubo ang pera sa simpleng dilig.. What about rooms..? Hay, ewan ko ba, sa sobrang hirap , 2 bare bulbs lang na nakadikit sa wall yung ilaw.. Wala na nga silang makain kasi nauubusan ng stock sa ref.. kailangang umorder/bumili ng groceries.. Hmmm.. maganda lang dun.. medyo challenging.. hindi puro yaman.. Kapag medyo umangat na rin ang kanilang economy, you can sell the old and buy new ones..
Unlike SIMS 1, mas detailed yung paglaki nung mga sims.. Meron ka yatang 30 or 35 days to live the life of your Sim tapos tatanda siya.. (baby-toddler-kid-teenager-adult-gurang!) Tapos kapag may ka-relasyon ka, pwede kang mag-make out (intimate kissing) na pwede sa teenager at WooHoo (sex) for adults only.. Merong cinematic kapag first time mo pa lang sa kama.. Pero sa Love Tub, meron laging cinematic.. May cinematic rin pala yung first kiss kapag teenager pa lang.. Meron din silang mga aspiration.. Mga Wants na nagbibigay ng points at mga fears.. kapag marami ka nang points, you can buy things tulad ng love tub at simoleon plant.. You can also choose from different neighborhoods..

Anyway.. All of these are just understatements.. If you really want to feel the "highness", install na kayo!! Hehehe.. We can talk about anything..!