A very crappy day...

Hi.. Guys.. here's another one of my masterpieces..
Anyway.. I just can't tear myself away from this thought.. I got an extremely low grade in a quiz in Algebra.. Actually, its not only in one quiz.. All of my quizzes in Algebra this 2nd quarter are extremely low.. I think I only got 25% of the items correct... Hell, here I go again.. I'm flunking..I never learn, I admit.. I'm hanging by a thread in the top 10 last quarter.. I really need to hold on..You know, I really got lucky last quarter 'coz its only a recap of last year's lessons.. This time.. I'm really flushing down the toilet.. again.I'm trying to pull it up.. by reciting and participating in class discussions.. but unlucky for me, my hand just won't raise.. I'm too afraid to be humiliated.. maybe I think they expect too much from me.. that's what I think.. but everytime I think of it, I disagree because.. it seems no one really cares about me.. No one wants to listen to what I want to say..
Honestly, its very disappointing.. Most of the "pauso" in the classroom came from me.. but I'm too shy to say it out loud, that if I whispered it to somebody, they will deliver it.. and the crowd digs it.. It feels like I'm not made to deliver what I want to say or do.. It feels like when I say my ideas, its not very convincing or effective... but if somebody says my ideas.. it turns heads.. You know what I'm saying..?
Here I go again, my self-esteem just keeps going down..down..down..
I'm trying to boost up my self-confidence.. I'm trying to make people care about me.. I'm trying to get their attention.. I'm trying to get their concern when I cry.. their support when I'm down.. their time when I'm alone.. their consideration when I'm wrong.. their acceptance when I ask permission..
And yet.. the world doesn't mind me.. As if I'm a wall.. just their to stand tall.. shelter them but still not faced.. still un-entertained.. still unacceptable..
Hell, I'm getting more and more serious by the minute.. This is just great.. I keep on typing about everything I hate and sad about.. Don't you think this blog needs a more positive outlook?
Hehehe.. This morning, Ms. Tanada conducted her demonstration in our class.. We have this activity where we will prepare a meal and state instructions how to prepare them (our lesson is about imperatives).. Our group was assigned to prepare coke float.. (You know, this softdrink with vanilla ice cream on top).. I really enjoyed our presentation.. Its short and very simple but the coke float was worth the tiring 1-kilometer run from the classroom to the front gate and back..!!
Now, the rest of the groups prepared a "well-cooked" pancit canton in a pouch, an effective eye-bag remover vegetable salad (cucumbers, corn, lettuce, tomatoes and mayonnaise..), a tourist-magnet balut.. and a new pausong "your looks!", the revision of the all-original "itsura mo!" by the one and only Buenachuchu..!!
Its the birthday of our classmates, Patricia and Arianne, 2 beauties who sucked the heart of our math wizard, Cedric.. so we had 2 parties for the day.. countless happy birthday songs and a once-in-a-lifetime experience in our class full of fun, excitement and a family-like bonding..
Its really nice to have two families that worth the life I'm spending with them.. Thanks, God, for giving me this wonderful, beautiful, exciting... head-turning, tongue-twisting, blood-sucking, eye-popping, nerve-cracking, hell-raising and extremely mind-boggling life... (wow! I know this is a very unusual sentence but this is definitely NOT AN UNDERSTATEMENT..!)
Well, thanks for reading this horrible article for the 14th day of September, 2006 years after the death of Christ.. I hope you had fun reading and will wait for my next one..=)