Trusted by no one...

Now.. I have this really disturbing feeling that's tearing me apart..Have you ever felt like no one seems to trust you with anything..?That's what I feel right now.. Isn't it obvious..?
I was trusted back then, when I was in elementary.. I'll have anything I need.. and want.. Because my parents know, I still don't have the guts to do something genocidal.. Until when I had this illegal relationship thing.. They noticed I wasn't that innocent.. Hey..! If you're thinking something very inhuman, lose it..! They witnessed my transformation from a sweet and lovable daughter to a hopeless social addict.. An event that parents are afraid to see..
So when I graduated from elementary.. they "slowly" confiscated the key to a worldly attitude that I treasure.. my cellphone.. I tried to prove something to deserve it back.. but I guess I lost.. I guess I didn't prove anything to them.. I guess I'm just trying to buy them out with grades.. I thought maybe they're still not satisfied with what I can give..
Now here's another twist.. I was given this expensive silver watch for a Christmas gift.. I wore it every single damn day.. I loved it so much.. But its so new, I sometimes forgot I have one.. You know that..? That you're not used to having this thing that you sometimes forget about it.. That's what happened to the watch.. I totally misplaced it.. Bye-bye, watch..
Now, I'm trying to convince them to buy me a new one.. I guess I'm doing what I did when I was begging for the cellphone.. I know its really sad to know someone that you care about doesn't care about what you offer them.. Get it..? They said that's what they felt when I said I lost the watch..
Then, I let it out to my erpats.. I said to him.. Do I have to finish college and work to have my own watch and cellphone..? The thing is.. how can I prove I'm worthy of having these things if they can't give me one.. I really know they can afford them both.. Even if this is gonna make me mentally retarded.. I'm really willing to sacrifice going to SMACKDOWN SURVIVOR SERIES TOUR in Araneta for a new watch and a cellphone.. I know this is a once-in-a-short-lifetime event but to know that you have the things you need, and that you're entrusted by your parents these important things can really increase my self esteem.. When I see fellow students that were entrusted by their parents with valuable possessions go malling after school and gimmick everywhere.. And then they invite me to join.. and I decline.. I said to myself.. That's damn unfair..!
Why do they have to have what I don't have when I sacrifice my happiness just to try to prove I'm worthy of my parents' trust..?!
Mama, I know you'll read this article.. So I just just want to say to you..HI MAMA..!! SINISIRA PO NINA MIGUEL YUNG PC.. KUMAKAIN PO SILA HABANG NAGLALARO..!!hehehe.. See you guys next time.. my keyboard smells like cookies..